"Presence makes your life into a greater gift than Productivity."

I actually read this over a week ago on Ann Voskamp's blog, but it's been haunting me. Probably because I wrote it on my kitchen wall. Productivity is easier for me than presence. Is it that way for everyone? I don't think so. Is it like that in all situations for me? Pretty sure not. It's the guilt that is always chasing me, you see. For the most part, for most of the hours of my day, I can think of something more I can be doing. So, for all of those times when I should relax and focus on what my presence is speaking to those around me, I am instead rushing around trying to be productive. And I measure the success of my days by my ongoing mental list of what I got done that day. And if I have failed to live up to my expectations the I am shamed. I am my own mean boss.

With certain people, and on good days, with my kids, I am able to see the value of presence in the moment. At the end of the day I am able to look back and say, "Yes, I did not cross off any chores in that hour but I did "accomplish" meaningful time with that person." But I have a pretty lofty vision of what meaningful time looks like. Maybe not only do I need to put this quote into action more often, I also need to look at it from another's eyes. Presence probably looks different to everyone at different times.

Another old quote: "In some ways we would prefer to hear Jesus' call to deny father and mother, houses and land for the sake of the gospel than his word to wash feet. Radical self-denial gives the feel of adventure...But in service we must face the many little deaths of going beyond ourselves.Service banishes us to the mundane, the ordinary, the trivial."

I feel like this speaks for itself. My extremest self finds it much easier to embrace a call to serve the Amazon Indians than it does humbly and cheerfully setting aside my schedule for an evening in order to run an errand for my husband. Enough said.