Christmas Eve, redirected

So...changing of all the plans. The weather has come with vengeance. We're not technically "stuck" yet, but the roads are iffy enough that we don't go anywhere if we don't really have to. We were supposed to go to Clarion today for a "Christmas" with my dad's side, and Mom and the boys and all. It would've been fun, but alas...we are staying here, safe and warm. Tomorrow we were supposed to have Christmas dinner at my father-in-law's at the lake. But Mike's other sister and husband couldn't make it and his dad decided to be "stuck" with us instead. My house guest numbers have doubled now; not only do I have Mike's little sister, but then also their dad. I think God is really wanting me to learn something there. :) Really, I'm glad that he came because I would feel bad if he were home alone on Christmas, but it's also really amusing to me because this is the same guy who normally won't come in past the back entryway. And now he's "getting stuck" (as if it were not planned) here for maybe three nights, and yet still going home to take a shower? Funny. And thankfully, I am still laughing. Again, it's not cause they're bad to have around, it's all my attitude and that I am often not very flexible when it comes to things I love like Christmas time.
Speaking of being flexible, I have a lot of food in the house thankfully, but not fancy party stuff because I wasn't planning on hosting any meals. So now we're thinking of Christmas dinner and checking out the freezers. So far the menu has become chili, chicken noodle soup, potato bologna,cheese ball, and fresh sugar cookies. Oh and I think breakfast will be quiche and cinnamon rolls. My mom always made a special breakfast for Christmas morning, so I feel the need to as well. We're shaping up pretty well really, all thanks to my overstocked freezer that Mike laughs at.
Being snowed in leaves me captive with lots of Christmas candy, but it also gives me lots of time to exercise! Mike got me the new "Wii Fit Plus" for my birthday and that's proving to provide lots of entertainment. There's a couple of new games that really are pretty fun and take a bit of work, so I've been enjoying them and hoping that they counter act all of the peanut clusters I ate! :)
I'll stop rambling now and get to cooking. Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!!

Needing an attitude adjustment...

So, I LOVE Christmas time. Just had my birthday and now enjoying these days in between and all of the fun get togethers they bring. However, things aren't looking too promising this year. First of all there is apparently a huge nasty weather system moving in that involves lots of snow, ice, and wind. They're saying to not plan on going anywhere all of the days surrounding Christmas. So there goes the trips we had planned to two family Christmases. I've been trying to think of how I can still make it festive for us if we're snowed in here and not feel like we're missing out on Christmas. Now today, my sister-in-law asked if she could stay with us. I love her dearly and there is no reason why she shouldn't stay with us except for my selfishness and perfectionism. See if she's here I won't be able to have Christmas just how I want it, won't be able to keep my house up to my standards of tidiness, and my husband will be distracted and goofing off with her. Not the romantic snowed in picture that I had been imagining. But I know this is a lousy attitude and if I don't shake it I'm going to be the one to ruin Christmas for myself and possibly the others too. I will be silent and moody, shooting my husband dark looks whenever he does something I can find a way to be annoyed with. It's embarrassing, but that is what I do more often then I'd like to admit. Or, I could pray for grace and choose to be joyful and hospitable, giving her a warm home to enjoy Christmas in where she feels a part of things and my husband can take pride in the home he has to share and feel at peace and loved there. And we can have fun in our stuck-ness, play games, stay up late, eat Christmas food; make a real two (or more) day party of it. That's the ticket! If I can give up my perfectionism and enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the mess or how Christmas is "supposed" to be in my head. (I get myself into more trouble with my "supposed too's). So please pray for me, this Christmas looks like it's going to be up to my attitude and I so want to take this as a chance for growing and not wallow in disappointment and self-pity. Choosing gratitude and joy....

P.S. My shoulder is twitching. Always such a weird feeling.

Three shots is what it takes

Had a fun, albeit fast weekend in Minneapolis. I really like it up there, I could live in MN. Not the city proper, but it would be nice to be closer than four hours. Anyway, we left early on Saturday in order to have time to go to Ikea. I really appreciated Mike and his dad agreeing to do that for me, but then they were both grumpy and just followed me around pushing me to hurry the whole time so I started to appreciate them less. I was told I had a little over and hour there and I was going to make the most of it. After all, it's a two story building and I only get there once a year! Mike's dad ended up buying us a new dining room table so that's really cool. I'm hoping to assemble it today. We had one, but it wasn't very user friendly and never intended to be our long term table. I'm hoping that now we will actually eat at the table more than the kitchen counter. I still need to find some benches to go around it though. We got a couple chairs, but what I really want is a collection of benches; they didn't have just the right thing there. So now the problem is that Mike was counting on getting that table for my birthday/Christmas present and now that his dad bought it Mike has to start over from scratch and he's put no thought into it yet. I think he's a bit miffed but I'm kinda pleased because presents mean a lot to me and I want him to have to put a little work into it. I'm really not that hard to buy for and I've given him lots of hints.
Anyway, the other highlight of the weekend for me was getting to meet up with my friend Elyse at the mall Saturday afternoon. It was a very last minute thing as I realized on Friday that she might be living up there now, but she was and we got to catch up a little and it was so fun. She's the type of girl that always leaves you feeling uplifted. I would like to be that kind of person to others too.
On Sunday I got to go to my first pro football game at the stadium formally known as the Metrodome. It was fun although silly the lengths they go to for what is only a game. I was glad that I had chosen to go with the large Mocha that morning because I think it affected my enthusiasm level quite a bit. And I did want to be enthusiastic. It's certainly more fun to watch a game in person than on the tv and I understand enough about football to know what's going on. As strange as it sounds I was most interested in the cheerleaders; wondering what kind of person it takes to be that perky all the time and be ok with having every move you make choreographed. And then thinking for that type of person you couldn't ask for a better job than being an NFL cheerleader. Then there was this greasy little middle aged man sitting below us that was taking zoomed in pictures of them and I really wanted to flick him in his bald head. Sorry, that's mean but he was creepy. Anyway....it was a pretty good time and fun to be there with Mike; a good date activity.
Parker was so good all weekend. Really about as good as you can expect from a 21 month old. He had his moments when he was tired and hungry or just didn't want to leave all of the amazing toys at "Una Dave"'s, but for the most part really well behaved. Did great on both 4 hour drives and shopping and in church (apart from announcing "Hedgehog watch" in the middle of the prayer). It was really fun to have Elyse finally meet him.
And now it's time to catch up on the laundry and exercising. I did ok on my eating this weekend, but doubt I lost anything. :)

A Thanksgiving Statement:

In my devotional this morning my assignment was to write a thanksgiving declaration similar to that of President Lincoln's and then post it somewhere where people could see it. So here goes:
As I listen to the wind howl around the house I am grateful that it is sound and that I am inside with my loved ones. However it strikes me that being outside with no shelter to to go would not be less than I deserve. Dow to the most taken for granted element of a comfortable shelter and clothes to cover my body, I have been blessed. Regardless of the willful sin that I participate in on a daily basis God continues to "loadeth us with benefits." Even should the worst happen, the One who holds the world in His hand promises to keep count of the hairs of my head and I am fortunate enough to have first hand experience of this faithfulness. So let my heart and countenance be one "overflowing with thankfulness." May I no longer let the "everyday" blessings march by without acknowledgment nor grumble when the exceptional ones don't meet my expectations. May I be only humbled by this outpouring of God's grace, that He should not only notice me but rescue me and then give me the desires of my heart. And after the initial reflex of gratitude my the next always be to pass it on so that others can also experience the abundant life of abiding in Christ. That is, a life that can abound with "every spiritual blessing" irregardless of the physical blessings that might come and go. "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!"

In a yummy rut

Ok, I confess, I have already made my pita sandwiches twice this week, and it's only Tuesday. I'm stuck in a tasty rut of what my mom used to call "New York Good-wiches." I find that name cumbersome so I'll just call them pitas, but my goodness they're good. They fill me up with out feeling heavy and they fill my desire for something hot on these chilly days. I don't know the exact calories on these, but since they're basically vegetables, I'm not too worried. I know the two pitas (whole wheat and made with flax) are 160 calories beyond that, I'm not too sure. So, here's the recipe. I know it sounds crazy, but don't knock it till you've tried it!
Saute 1/4 c. onions in a bit of olive oil, while steaming 1/2c. or so of California blend vegetables. Toast two pita halves then spread with a thin layer of mayo. When onions are cooked as desired (I like mine almost burnt) stir in a T. or less of bbq sauce. Divide ingredients between two pita pockets in whatever order, but including all of the following: raw red cabbage, dill pickles, CA veggies, onion and bbq mix.

I know, I know...it's sounds crazy, but it's sooooo good.

Shopping is Exhausting

This was yesterday on what ended up being an all day trip to Fort Dodge. Poor guy, he was so good and so exhausted by that point. Couldn't have been that comfortable.
The weather was perfectly Christmas'y on Sunday so we cranked up the music and made gingerbread cookies and wrapped presents. Parker refers to the cookies as "babies" and plays with them as such, even "changing" them on his tray.

I apologize if you're tired of hearing about this, but I'm a little excited, so I wanted to write. I'm a week late on measuring this month and I had thought I had a bad month too, so tonight when I finally did it I didn't know what to expect. Imagine my surprise when I had actually lost 7lbs this month! Granted it was five weeks rather than four, but still exceeded my goal. And it came off in the right places! I recorded 1.25 in. off my waist and 1in. off my hips! And more off of arms and legs. Hurray! So thankful. Particularly because I stopped counting calories this month, just was kinda winging it and I'm glad that I don't have to go back to doing that so intensely. Perhaps some of my good habits are sticking. That and this was over Thanksgiving and a vacation, so all very encouraging. I'm sure that Christmas will be more of a struggle, but God is bigger than chocolate and candy. ;) I'm grateful. And feeling lighter. :) Oh, and I way need some new bras, they're like 4in. too big I discovered tonight. Whoops.

Normalcy

Back home now and doorman-less. :) At least I don't have to worry about keeping tip money handy any more. Our trip home was thankfully uneventful. Even found a Papa Johns that was next to a Caribou in Denver for our lunch stop. What more could you want? Obviously I did not eat well on that ride home but I did enjoy all of foods that are not readily available at home. I also think that my metabolism has finally kicked in because I am ALWAYS hungry. Despite the vacationing I think I still will meet my 1lb. goal this week, so I'm grateful for that. And my size 10's are getting too big, so that's a nice feeling too. :)
Not really much going on now. Have this weekend to catch up on things and get more ready for Christmas and then next weekend we have Christmas with Mike's extended family in MN. Oh and I officially have only 1/2 of a Christmas present left to pick up. There are probably other odds and ends but that's the official count.
Did I ever mention on here my signing up to be a mentor? Well I did, in this local mentoring program that has a focus on abstinence. Yesterday I was finally paired with a Jr. Higher named Nichole. And I realized at that moment that I am still intimidated by public schoolers. Pathetic no? At first meeting it doesn't seem like we're going to have much in common, but I'm really praying for this relationship; that God will help me love her like I need to and really make a connection with her. It's a great opportunity so I'm thanking God for trusting me with this experience and asking for courage!

More Pictures

Well, we're checking out this morning. Very sad. I went down for one last workout and now Parker and I are just packing up while Mike's in his last session.We're going to try to drive straight through to get home early tomorrow morning. I hope that means I can talk Mike into stopping at Caribou. :D It got cold this morning, we had a little dusting of snow and more coming tonight. How can you make this place any prettier? Just add snow! Yesterday Parker and I went around looking for good shopping. I was rather disappointed in Manitou Springs. Too touristy for me, although we did find the neat coffee shop there that you will see a picture of below. Oh, and I got a hand blown glass pickle ornament to add to our collection. Mike appreciated the randomness. We tried Old Colorado City too and the options were better there. One shop called "the Holly Leaf" and another called "Holly Berry House. " Hehe. Didn't buy anything though. Really was rather a bust day for good shopping, but then why did I still buy things?? Got a "The Broadmoor" shirt, just cause. I don't think I paid full price for anything I bought though; was all about the sale racks, even at the Broadmoor. Keva Juice for suppper and then a swim and early bed. Well, time for packing. More pictures are below.


We tried to take some family pictures this morning. It's been something I've been wanting to do, but haven't liked myself in pictures. So finally I'm at a place where I don't mind pictures and what better background than our current local? They didn't turn out great, but maybe as good at I can get if not paying for a professional? I was going to ask a certain friend I know that takes some pretty good shots, but she never comes home...:P




Parker's kicked back and watching "Max & Ruby."
Mike and Parker enjoying the good life this morning.
Parker at the pool.
This was Parker and I at the "Yerba Mate" coffee shop yesterday. It was very, um, alternative. Good food, and cozy atmosphere, but rather hippy-ish. Yummy carob chip cookies.

I could get used to this...

It's not hard to get up at 6 a.m. when you have a full fitness center and pool waiting for me. The lady at the desk: "Good Morning, will you be joining us for a workout? Could I offer you a towel and headphones?" There are cold, wet towels available also, and lemon water in a cooler. When I got back Mike was in the shower and Parker in the tub playing toys. The tub is really deep and he loves it; I guess that was what he asked for after me this morning. Last night before our evening swim Parker and I went to the Golf Club Grill for supper because it was the most casual restaurant we could find onsite. I had some really tasty potato and parsnip soup and a chicken quesadilla with three indistinguishable but tasty dips. Yes, my meal consisted of the appetizers because they were the only things in my price range. :P Speaking of price range; have I mentioned that I LOVE the bathrobes here in our room? I feel just like someone in a spa commercial or something. So I went to the store where they sell everything that they use here because people always want to buy the things, and the robe is $135. :( So sad. I will not be able to extend my Broadmoor experience beyond the little shower gel bottle that I might take home. Off to Manitou Springs for some shopping. It's supposed to be 57 today and 22 with snow tomorrow.

Pictures of Heaven? ;)

Ok, here are the long awaited pictures. There are lots more, but this might give you and idea and the baby is clamoring for bed.

Parker and I at Whit's end today.

Doesn't this just make you want a big fancy dress?
Bed part, looking toward the door and mini bar.
I like this mirror, but I love the french doors into the bathroom. French doors make anything look cool.
TV in the bathroom...
The bathroom, looking into the bedroom.
This is the resort from the middle. We are in the far right hand building, the "South Tower," but on the other side from where this picture was taken.

The Broadmoor

It's AMAZING. I am sitting here in my large comfy bathrobe with the resort initial on it, with my feet up in a plush king sized bed. Just got done eating (both pieces :))the chocolate that the night maid left when she came to turn down the bed. She came while Parker and I were down at the indoor pool and spa. It was a beautiful walk back along the lake with all of the Christmas lights on the trees and "Silent Night" playing on the sound system with the snow covered mountains just barely visible in the dark. It's beautiful. The resort opened in 1918, so it's got a neat history and great architecture. Ballrooms, chandeliers, tons of windows, cozy fire places, dining rooms with dress codes. And of course Christmas decoration; it's a great time of year to be here. I feel out of place, and yet very much at home. Doormen and valets everywhere, everyone so polite. I love elegant feeling. It makes me want to be wearing a fancy dress and dancing though...We have our own little balcony too; too bad it's too cold to go out there and read. I wish I had time to sit and enjoy all of the little corners I'm finding. And the french doors. Something about them makes even the closet seem more elegant. I need some french doors I've decided. I've taken a bunch of pictures, however I think I left my camera in the car. So maybe I'll upload them tomorrow. I'm planning to get up and go enjoy the fitness center and pool while Mike can keep Parker. Not that I'm not happy to have Parker with me, but I would like a few more moments to enjoy this without having to wipe a nose or make sure he doesn't run off or break something. But there I go complaining...I really have nothing to complain about. I'm so thankful for the chance to be here and just sit and enjoy it. I've never been anywhere this nice, and probably never will be again.

Speaking of being thankful...

With all of this talk about Thanksgiving, I haven't really mentioned our after Thanksgiving plans; and no it's not shopping, well not the focus anyway. We're driving out to Colorado Springs for a few days where Mike has to go to a conference. It's pretty much just a bonus kind of trip for me; not something I to do but oh so much fun. We have a super nice rental car to drive, with XM radio. And when we get there we get to stay at the Broadmoor; check it out online, it's not just a hotel, it's a resort and it's amazing. And we get to stay for free. And there's a lap pool!!!!!!Heated, outdoor, at the foot of the mountains. :D Then there's all of the many fun things to do in Colorado, not the least of which is Focus on the Family and the full gamut of coffee shops. So, I'm pretty excited. And so grateful for the chance to go. On top of that, I lost 2.4 lb. over Thanksgiving. Haha, that took a miracle. I really think my metabolism finally kicked in. I was thinking as I packed how much more fun this trip is since I am comfortable with my body. For instance the swimming and the wearing of nice clothes in a nice hotel; all things that would've depressed me if I wasn't where I am now. So thankful that I can enjoy dressing up and not feel dumpy and out of place while we're there. Packing is no longer so depressing.
So, I need to go finish and get out the door. I'll hopefully have time to write while we're there.

Parker did not want Andrea to leave. He just kept saying "take. take."

After dinner jam session.

All he wants for Thanksgiving is Doritos.

Checking out the table and turkey cookies.

Setting up the tree with Dad.

Misfit Thanksgiving

It all went off well and I was very , well, thankful. :) The turkey turned out great as well as the ham (which I used "orange chicken" sauce on). We had just about the right amount of food. And it all turned out pretty tasty. Even my 22 year old bachelor brother's green bean casserole; all FOUR pans of it. :) I had a good time too, I hope everyone else did. And I didn't over eat! Wasn't really even tempted to. I filled up on squash and cranberries and just had a taste of everything else that really looked good. Even the chips and dip; only a taste. Had a piece or so of pumpkin dessert, but that was planned on and thoroughly enjoyed.
I also gave a little "sermon-ette" about gratitude and what I've been learning lately and included the gospel in there. Then I had them start little journals writing down 5 things they were thankful for and challenging them to keep it up every day. I don't know how that all went over, but some of them liked it they said, and I was thankful for the courage to go through with it.
All in all, a very satisfying day. I don't know if I've ever enjoyed Thanksgiving that much. And Mike said it was one of his best Thanksgiving meals ever, so that's saying something too! I'll post some pictures in a bit.
Oh yeah...my title..that's referring to the odd assortment of people we had there yesterday: Mom and I were talking about just what family looks like and how, 5 years ago, we never would've imagined that this would be what a family gathering might look like. Some parent-less, some spouse-less; some old and sick, some young and healthy; some related by blood, some related by marriage, and some related by acquaintance. Quite the group. I hope it wasn't too awkward for anyone. I know I would like to do it again; I like welcoming everyone and not having it a "blood family" exclusive holiday.

Thanksgiving Eve

Well, so far so good. I've been busy the last three days getting ready for the 16 people to converge on my house for that ever important holiday meal involving poultry. I've got everything cooked ahead that I can, am pleased with the way that my tables and decorations turned out, and also very happy with the healthier options I have to offer the meal. I do not anticipate to navigate the day and stay within my narrow calorie limit, but I do not plan to crash and burn. I am planning on enjoying my dessert and not wasting any calories on those other sugar filled sides that really don't satisfy. I've left the chips and dip at the store though because I know my lack of self-control when it comes to them. Hoping to fill up on my whipped squash (made with almond milk) and the veggies and hummmus if I need something to just snack on. I've never really planned on becoming a vegetarian, I just tend to prefer non-meat; however, getting this turkey prepped for cooking=NASTY GROSS. Made me consider placing my loyalties on the conservative side of meat eat. :P Just hoping that it turns out tasty. Failure #1 would be running out of food at Thanksgiving, but failure #2 would be messing up the turkey. So here's hoping that I can pull off the hostess, and above that that I can bless the people that come, and I think I'll do that best if I just relax and enjoy them.

"I'm beginning to plan for awkward Christmas',
Everywhere I go!
There's a significant other at my husband's dad's,
And one at my mom's as well;
A couple for siblings thrown in just for show!"
:P
What are they thinking?

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: I had a great conversation with my Grandma yesterday. I don't know why talking to her about faith is so intimidating to me. But I realized last night when reading about Jim Elliot and the lance throwing Auca indians that it shouldn't take so much courage to talk to my grandma who can't throw much worse than a tv remote. Anyway, she's taking treatments for cancer right now so of course eternity has been brought to the forefront of all of our minds. I guess I mentioned on there that Pastor Tom had been to talk to her, but I know that also I need to be obedient and talk to her myself. So yesterday I got the opportunity to go visit her and Grandpa and help them out a little bit, take them some food, and just visit. And Grandma and I really got into stuff about faith, and heaven, and how to get there, and how we're never going to be "good enough" and we can't even keep up trying to think positive thoughts everyday. As I look back on it now I can see where I missed several good "ins" to really be direct about salvation and how to be sure of heaven, but I am also grateful for the words God did give me and hope that the scripture is resonating with her. She knows all this stuff, she just needs to remember it and claim it. And hopefully this was just breaking the ice for both of us and that there will be a next time and easier now. So very grateful for that opportunity, and even just for the fact that I was obedient.
The Bad: The reason that we were over in G&G's area is that I was trying out a new pediatrician for Parker. She was nice enough, but unfortunately not right for us. I was so hopeful too. I'm not a big doctor person but I would love to have one that I could trust for when we need it. Usually in these situations I just clam up and think "get me out of here," but this time I stuck with it and asked her my questions and actually disagreed with her some, so I was grateful for that courage. However, right away she found out that Parker was "behind" on his vaccines and I kinda lost her because all of the bells and whistles were going off in her brain. I asked her about breastfeeding and chiropractic care and other things of importance to me but she said "the important thing right now is that we get him up to where he should be on his vaccines." Now, no matter how you feel about vaccines, I hope you would agree with my immediate thought as it was "no lady, that's not the most important thing. The most important thing to me is that you know my child and are able to give him the best possible care and help. NOT that he checks out on the CDC website." So that kinda checked her out in my book. That and that she more or less said breastfeeding or formula are equal in value and that there is no reason to breastfeed after 2 years. Um....I mean come on. Ok so vaccines are controversial and nothing is really for sure there good or bad, but breastfeeding?? Tons of Ph.'d Doctors recognize breastfeeding as far far superior and has so many benefits beyond just feeding. I realized that I don't necessarily need a doctor that shares all of my same view points, but I would like one that thinks for himself and keeps up on the research beyond what the CDC website says. I know there are some out there, they just live in California darn it.
The Ugly: My eating habits lately. I'm still exercising regularly, even more than my 3 times a week. But I snack little bits here and there and I'm sure I'm going over my calories but I'm not tracking them anymore so I can pretend I'm not. :P Not doing anyone any good. I haven't reached my goal, but the results have slowed down and I'm happy with where I am, so I'm less motivated. But I really don't think I should give up here because 1. I'm too easily going back to my old habits so apparently they need more rooting out and 2. I don't want to just give up on my goal; if I stop it will be because I feel I have reached the healthy weight for me and I don't know that I have yet. So....what do I do? Hm..and the holidays are fast approaching too...

This was when I found Parker "boating" in the bath the other night.






Parker was having a good time with the kittens at church yesterday.

"Doing" Thanksgiving

I've never really been much of a Thanksgiving person. Unconsciously I think I'm with most other Americans in just considering it a pre-Christmas kick-off. It's a holiday so family gets together and since there's no presents or anything required at this one there is all the more focus on eating lots of food. And there, now we've "done" Thanksgiving, check it off and let's move on to Christmas!
But this year, I'm not settling for that. Instead I volunteered to "have" Thanksgiving and really celebrate and focus on this holiday originally set aside to contemplate how much God has blessed us, no matter what our circumstances. My reasons for this are threefold: 1. I have my own family now and I want to create traditions for them to look forward to and make Thanksgiving a real celebration for them, not just something we "do." 2. With having parents on both sides die right around this time of year, this holiday has taken a particularly rough hit for us and I can't really blame people for not having the enthusiasm to make something of it, but I want to change that. Rather than try to make things how they've always been and highlight what's been lost, I'm just going to change it all up and make it new and improved. 3. God's really been working on creating a grateful heart in me lately, but I still have a long way to go. I want to prepare for this holiday not only with food and decorations, but also a renewed sense of gratefulness and find ways to share it with the others. That's kinda where I'm stuck right now; everyone's invited and the food is being planned but how do I bring out the spirit? I dislike the "go around the table and share what you're thankful for" routine. I want it to be authentic and enjoyable; not cheesy. But how to do that? What can I do to promote that atmosphere and make the day about more than food and football? The only idea I've come up with so far is to kind of re-write a Psalm, have everyone write a few lines and then read them all together. Although I have one vote for and one against, it still borders on cheese. Hmmmm...Only 20 days to figure it out. That and where to seat everyone.

Indulging the Soul

That's another new thought that I came across yesterday in a book by Fenelon from 1687: "...Romans taught their children, not only to despise their body and make a generous and noble sacrifice of it, but also to indulge and gratify their soul with the delight that is found in virtue and honor." Intriguing isn't it? The thought of turning our efforts to indulge the soul rather than the body? How much of our time and energy is not spent in either indulging the body or conniving some way to rationalize doing so? I think of my issues with food: I want to indulge my taste buds and mind by eating something that I perceive to be tasty whether or not my body actually needs it for fuel. Aren't most of our sins actually some form of indulging the body and gratifying it's desires? "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Is it not your desires that rage within you?" (James something...) A lot of those "gray areas" like alcohol: something not bad in and of itself but it becomes sinful when we overindulge. The Bible has all sorts of verses about our flesh and how it's desires war against our spirit's desire to be Holy (when Christ is present). "Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality, so as to indulge in every kind of impurity with a continual lust for more." (Ephesians)
I think back over my "training" as a child and the first thing that comes to mind (concerning food again) was that when we wanted to celebrate, we ate lots and lots of food, therefore happy=overindulgence. I'm not trying to say that this is universal, just what was modeled for me. Was I taught anything about indulging and gratifying the soul? Certainly not in so many words. What is "indulging" for my soul? Time with God certainly leaves my soul feeling satisfied. Or a good conversation with a friend. Or maybe taking in some quality music. I think, for me at least, something in us sends us the message that the chance to overindulge is a reward. I search for ways to justify over indulging in everything from food to relaxing to (before I was married) physical affection. Is it sinful nature or culture? That would determine how to undermine it I would think. Perhaps it's both: a sin issue that I need to attack in myself so that I can better address it and train for it in my son. And how do I train myself to focus on indulging the soul instead? These are my deep thoughts for the day. I think I know the answers, but just haven't pondered it long enough. Anyone want to weigh in?

A whole new wardrobe :)

I haven't written much about my eating and exercising lately, but the most exciting news is that I fit in to my "skinny" jeans this week! I tried them on on a whim after realizing that it'd been a month since I had, and they fit quite handily. These are the jeans I picked up in NM when I was at probably the best fitness of my life; my "pre-marriage" jeans. It's fun to be wearing them again. I've been having trouble with cookies though. And chocolate chips. Once I start them, I just can't stop. I'm frustrated by my lack of self-control, my "weakness." But then I was reminded of the verse in 2nd Corinthians, " three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it from me but he said 'My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.'" Paul calls whatever he is struggling with his "thorn in the flesh" "a messenger of Satan sent to torment me." That's how I feel too. So, how do I use this "thorn" to tap into God's power, so that I get to a place where I can boast in my weaknesses? I'm not sure yet. But it does make me smile to think of my addiction to chocolate chips as a "messenger of Satan sent to torment me." :)
Here's another angle though. A statement I came across yesterday about the need to take care to not make your body an idol. So I stopped to analyze if I have done that: I spend a lot of time thinking about exercise and what I eat. A lot of time planning or regretting. I give things up in order to have my body look the way I want to. And now that I am more pleased with the results I've been having, I spend more time in the mirror admiring how I look or taking pride in what "I've" accomplished. Oh my, that all sounds really bad. But, on the flip side, we also are to be good stewards of the bodies God has given us and a large part of my fitness endeavors have been because I was not living in a healthy way. I guess there must be a fine line and I'm also guessing that they only way I'm going to be able to walk it successfully is by grace. More grace! Always, more grace...maybe that's how I glory in my weaknesses: because of them I will never fulfill my need for God's bounties of grace.

There's been a lot going on lately. Lots of blogging type thoughts have come to mind and gone again before I had a chance to get them down. My grandma's in the hospital right now, actually have surgery today to remove cancer in her colon. It's not really shocking or anything because Grandma hasn't been in good health for a long time; in and out of the hospital in the last few years, this time they're just calling it cancer. At mom's request I asked Pastor Tom to go visit her and help her find some peace and comfort amidst all of the scary things going on right now, even facing the possibility of death, which honestly might be better than what she's have to live through. Anyway, he went, last night, almost right away. I'm so grateful for the love he has for people and the wisdom he has giving me complete confidence that he will say only what God tells him to, even if it's awkward. In a sense I feel kinda guilty, sending Pastor Tom to do my "dirty work," that is having this most important but not comfortable conversation with Grandma. But on the other hand, if anyone's going to help her, it will be him. She does say she is a believer, however she never learned how to live it and now is without the practice of going to God when things are hard. She's also got a lot of unforgiveness and bitterness stored up. Something the Pastor Tom personally understands. So I've been alternating between fear that Grandma's going to hate me for putting her in the position of talking to this very forward stranger, and hope that maybe God will do a huge work here and Grandma will find joy. What a thought; Grandma Morgan with joy and peace! I smile just thinking of it and praying it will be so. Even so far as if she made peace with God last night then I would be at peace if he took her now, just because it would be so much better than what she's been living with. And it wasn't so long ago that I watched cancer work it's course and it's not pleasant. So much pain and discomfort.
So, that's what I'm thinking about these beautiful fall days. Not necessarily bad thoughts although you might think that at first.
We went to Ames to see Grandma this weekend and got to go to Cornerstone for Saturday night service. I left there with an immense feeling of satisfaction; like when you're hungry after a long run and find a good meal ready for you. (Parker just drove his toy truck down the front of my shirt until it hooked in my bra and said "park." )Anyway...the heartfelt worship and the "solid food" of the teaching from Ephesians. So good. Wow, how I miss going there. And I know, everyone misses Cornerstone because there's no other churches just like it, but also this is the church were I really felt at home. I've gone to a lot of different churches in my life, but this one was mine. The one where I really grew a lot in my faith, faced some difficult life happenings, faced some huge joys, really saw examples of what it is to be a Christ follower. This is my "home" church out of all of them I've ever attended and it's hard to move my heart from that. These are people I trust, even though I hardly know them anymore, but I know that they're real, so I trust them. Even in the huge new auditorium; really a building that I hardly recognize, I felt at home. And it's nice to still be recognized in a huge place like that. But we don't "go" there anymore, I'm not a regular part of the fellowship, and I need to get engaged in the church here. Is it so hard because I just don't want to or is it so hard because this one isn't really a home? Probably more my attitude than I want to admit...but it's hard to trust that deeply again. When we left Cornerstone I was almost glad to go, but I realize now that my heart had drifted from God and the problems were mine, not theirs. I was offended only as their walk revealed my lack there of. Not that Cornerstone is a perfect church, or that I should hold out until I find one just like it. I guess I just got to work on my attitude. But I'm still homesick.

Worms

You know it's wet outside when you find worms on the kitchen floor. NASTY. Thankfully they're at church and not my house. But still... And I should clean them up but I'm not sure my stomach would cooperate so I'm going to pretend I don't see them.
In other news, I have to confess a BAD day yesterday. My father-in-law's birthday is this weekend and we decided to give him a large bag filled with brownies. See the problem? I have to hold out while 5 batches of warm gooey brownies pass through my house. I've only made three batches so far and have already failed miserably. I never just sat down and ate one but rather sampled the entire pan as I packaged them up. By the evening, I felt sick. At least I didn't want to eat any more then. However, I still have to make two more batches tonight. Maybe I'll try chewing gum while I work with them...To clarify, it's not so much the brownies that are the problem, but rather my lack of self-control. If only I could just have a bit or two and be done. But no; one bite and I'm done for. It's the same way with chocolate chips. I have a little handful and then I can't keep from going back. It's way better to have none at all, but some afternoons I just can't help it...
I did my Latin Dance video for the third time yesterday. After doing it Monday I was really rather sore and happy about that so I was looking forward to another good workout. From what I've heard and experienced, a dancer's workout promotes a lean and flexible body rather than an overly muscular and bulky body. My body type tends towards bulk (in more ways than one :P) so I thought this might be a good direction to lean. I'm still not having huge success in the area of coordination, but it's a little better then at first; at least I can keep up with the warm up now. :P Despite how embarrassing this is I'll still confess that yesterday I did the video in my swimsuit and wrap skirt. I thought maybe that would help me move my hips better if my clothing helped me be more aware of the movement. Not sure it worked; I just felt really silly. And totally look like a dork doing "the Samba bounce."

Latin Dancing

My enthusiasm for eating well and working out has definitely been lagging lately. I still do it...but don't really want to. The dreary weather doesn't help. Makes me just want to curl up on the couch and I don't even have the option of a good bike ride. So I thought I'd try a new exercise video to spice things up. I got "Latin Cardio Dance" for $10 at Walmart. It was a bummer. Not that it might not be good, but it left me feeling fat and uncoordinated. The way the instructors moved made even push-ups look sexy, but me, I concentrated really hard to manage marching in place to the beat. Definitely couldn't do all the fancy steps or look so good doing it. And the "shimmy" move? Yeah...more like jello jiggler when I did it, not that I could do it. Shaking my hips one way and my shoulders the other was way over my head. Gosh darn it. I want to be coordinated and able to move my hips 60mph. I'll keep working on it, if for no other reason but I need to get my money's worth. But definitely disappointed in myself.

Not even a hint

Was reading in Ephesians this morning because I was again convicted about my tv viewing habits. I was thinking about what I do in a day that's any different from a person who does not claim to be a Christian, and I don't know that there's too much on a regular basis. There were bad attitudes and such that came to mind that I know I need to work on, and am...but also came to mind the little habits that I excuse. As one author puts it "the little foxes that spoil the vines." Mike and I like to watch two tv shows regularly, "The Big Bang Theory" and "The Office." Whenever I tell people that I usually say, "They're kinda nasty, but..." Now what place do I have watching tv shows that I introduce that way? So God and I decided this morning that they're out. So's "Friends" I guess...and anything else that might fall into those lines, although those are the only ones that I really watch with any regularity. *Sigh* So much for evening entertainment. There is pretty much nothing decent on tv anymore. And those two shows were maybe the only thing Mike and I had in common that we liked to do together. I'm not exaggerating here. Would God excuse "obscenity, foolish talk, and course joking" in favor of marital camaraderie? Probably not...The other thing is that now I have nothing to look forward to. Pathetic, no? I've always been someone who lives from one happy anticipation to the next and if I don't have something, I tend to get depressed. Now you understand why I start Christmas decorating in October; sometimes I'm desperate. I know it's bad to spend my whole week looking forward to tv shows with dirty humor...but...well, I guess that's just more evidence that I need to give them up and find something new. Maybe I really should take up knitting.

Wyoming Pictures

Got a few moments to upload some new pictures and there are a few good ones. I'm quite pleased with my new camera. Thanks for the recommendation there, Christy.

And the results are in...

I didn't gain any weight on my trip! Hurray!!Not sure if I made my 1lb. goal either...but at least I didn't go backwards!

In other news, I saw a quote by Abraham Lincoln that intrigued me; "A man with no vices has very few virtues." I smiled at this because I once had someone write me a letter of recommendation that stated "Holly has no vices." The statement had always amused me because it is of course ridiculous, as any one who knows me well can attest to, but flattering that someone would still think that. Well Lincoln certainly puts that in perspective doesn't he? *Sigh*

Another thought...this morning I read the verse "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom," for the 50 millionth time and I felt like I understood it for the first time! I had been praying for my little brother because he's make a lot of choice that just aren't smart, and I know he knows better. It frustrates me how he says "I know, I know" and does it anyway. But after reading the verse it makes sense, that if he doesn't have the fear of God, then he also doesn't have the wisdom to make right choices. He's make his choices based on the wisdom of the world (which is foolishness compared to God's) so no wonder he can't see how they could hurt him later. Perhaps when he was still at home he learned the rules, but not the motivation (the fear of God) and so now that he's on his own (more or less; he sleeps in mom's house but only occasionally) he's got no reason to follow the rules. Although my realizing this does not really do much for him, it does help my frustration over why he's doing these things and helps me know how to pray for him better. It also helps me to realize what should be my goal in raising my kids: not to teach them a bunch of rules but to teach them how to fear the Lord and, better yet, to model it. If they focus on that then they will be well on their way to making wise choices on their own. I also realize this isn't groundbreaking stuff, and you're probably saying "duh!" but hey, sometimes it takes awhile for it to sink in and I"m just grateful for the insight.

Traveling

So... eating well can be hard when you're away from home for a week and there's nothing in the airports under $5. Parker and I flew to Wyoming for the last six days and had a great time, but it did post some hazards to my fitness goals. On this side of it though I feel like I navigated it successfully. This is not in a little thanks to the great cooking of Christy our hostess. She planned us a delicious and healthy menu that made it way easier to eat how I should and enjoy it! Granted I did have a hamburger and fries one night...and we drank a lot of coffee....and even had ice cream once...but all in all it went pretty well. I don't know for sure because I didn't keep track of my calories the whole time,but I gave myself permission to loosen up. The only real hangup was those darn pumpkin chip cookies...probably shouldn't have eaten so many of those...speaking of which the mush from my carry-on that was once pumpkin chip cookies sounds really good right now...Anyway, the other bit of a challenge was the "something active" everyday. We weren't exactly sedentary, but I did sit on the couch and watch Gilmore Girls a bit. :D Parker and I tried to get out for walks a few days, and I also did my exercise video two other days, so all in all I'm hoping that at least I didn't loose any ground. Last night might have been my biggest splurge because supper consisted of a burger from McDonalds and a 16 oz. Mint Condition from Caribou. :) Yummy. Today it's back in the saddle; I ate my twigs and soy flakes for breakfast and logged it up. Making a grocery list from all the tastey menu items Christy made for us and am excited about the new options to our rotation and that I don't have to feel guilty about them! I thought about asking for the cookie recipe too, but that would literally be asking for it.
I can't really decide how I feel about the taking of the Parker on this trip. On one hand it was really fun to have him and see his reactions to all the new experiences and it's fun memories of stuff just he and I did together: no one can say that we're not bonded! However he won't remember them and sometimes I think, I just want a break! There would've been a lot more that Christy and I could've done with out a toddler in tow and I was so jealous of the other plane passengers that got to sleep or read their own books and didn't have to catch the toys before they got chucked down the aisle...All in all though, I didn't have a choice so I guess I will just be grateful that I get the chance to have the memories of such adventures with my son and grateful that I can take him out in public and he's a good companion, even if he does end up without pants more often than anyone would like.

Another 4 Weeks

Well, we're up to 16 weeks total of this weight-loss effort. In order to be meeting my original goal I should have then lost 16lbs.: Even better, I'm at 27!. That's an encouraging thing, although I would still love for it to be going faster. I can't complain though because I've really be slacking lately. Still getting my exercise and activity in, but eating bad stuff. Not going over my calorie limit, but not eating what I should to fill those calories either. And there's all the little nibbles of things throughout the day that I don't account for. This last week I've been hungry for cheez-its in the afternoon. Not good. There's nothing else I can really find to take the place of that enjoyable munchy. Darn it anyway that I even have them in the house but they're Mike's. So I eat them. Part of my problem is the coffee I drink in the morning, see then by the after lunch I am tired, but I can't sleep because the caffeine hasn't worn off yet. Therefore I eat when really I'm tired but can't sleep. It's vicious. It helps if I can stay busy, but most days I'm just running after Parker all the time, and that lends itself to snacks. Anyway, self-control is the word! And enough of that bad news, the good news is that in spite of these struggles, I still lost 3 in. off my waist this month. Only 1in. off my hips, but still I can tell a difference as I am able to fit into lots of my old pants now. That's very fun. I also found the three pairs of super slim pants that I bought in NM when I was in really good shape. I could get one of them buttoned, but it was not comfortable or attractive. :P Let's just say that I rediscovered some motivation!
And now, to kill my dog. Why does she bark at nothing and always during nap time???!!!!

Two things that make you wonder...

Just what God is up to.
1. Last night was supposed to be the first meeting of our new couples Bible Study. Mike and I have talked about starting one for over a year. We finally set a date and invited 5 couples. I cooked and clean most of the day; Mike had a list of talking points. I prayed that this would just be a starting point of a tight group that would provide each other with challenge and encouragement. Long story short, no one came. One couple called and said they couldn't make it, but I guess the others just forgot or something. That's completely feasible, but doesn't help much. They said they were excited. I don't really even know how I feel about it. I'm disappointed of course because as much as anything I wanted this group for Mike and I because I know that we need it. But I'm also not really surprised, kinda just reinforces my impression that a strong marriage and family life is just not a priority around here. I told Mike that it certainly doesn't do anything for my homesickness for Cornerstone and the connection groups there. Should we try again? What is God trying to teach us? Will Mike have the motivation to try again? Are we supposed to give up and just go to our respective men's and women's groups like everyone else? Why is spirituality so segregated around here????
2. On, a more positive note, a few months ago we were contacted by Bethany Christian Services about needing a mentor for a 13 year old girl in the area. At the time, I thought, gee I should do that, but never actually acted on it. God kept bringing it to mind though so finally today I called them thinking I'd just see if they needed any other mentors or if they had a list I could join. Turns out that that same girl needed a mentor again, the first one had only been available for the summer. Cool. Talk about timing. So, we'll see how this goes....

Pride goeth before.....

It wasn't really a bad morning, just rather typical really. Things were going smoothly and I was on track to get out of the door on time to get to work. I had dressed myself in a favorite old sweatshirt that I hadn't been able to wear in awhile and happily observed that it looked pretty good now. So, the last thing to do before we go out the door, put Parker's shoes on and, of course, he has poop down his leg and on the floor and now stool. I carry him back to the changing table with his legs kicking so that we leave a trail of fling. Not a quick clean up but rather a mopping and complete outfit change. Clean up the trail. Get the shoes on finally, grab bags and out the door. Child in the car seat, I happen to look down as I reach for my door handle, and that lovely sweatshirt that I just mentioned has also been bestowed with its own measure of poop. I'm glad I'm not a swearing person because as it was Parker imitated the frustrated noise I made as I dashed back in the house to change myself.....

Just a Cracker

That's all I want. I've really been craving the carbs lately. I can't think of much that would be better than sitting down to eat a whole box of crackers, say cheddar-jack cheez-its. Yum. Unfortunately I don't have any room on my eating count for a whole box of crackers, especially of the cheese variety. I did make some fresh corn muffins last night that helped fill the void. Today I'm sticking with my apple and peanut butter dip combo because it makes me feel like I'm eating a lot. The other day I was wishing for a day to just eat whatever I want and not care about it. It sounds like sweet freedom. But in all reality, I don't really want that. Because I'm very happy with how my freedom from food is progressing. Really, what I would like, is for "whatever I want" to become what is healthy and reasonable for me to eat. That's what would really be enjoyable. Think I've got a ways to go yet, but maybe, by grace, I'll get there. Yesterday we went to Pizza Ranch for lunch, something I haven't ventured since the day after I started this journey. And I did ok. I had a few little bits of things I enjoy and walked away satisfied, but not guilty. Like I told Mike, it's a lot less fun to eat at Pizza Ranch when you have to face just how many calories you consume there.

18 month Pictures

Despite a camera that's wigging out on me and a child that was doing his best to make this hard for me, I think I got some good shots.

For future reference...

12 miles of biking+ 2 miles running = sore hips. And do I feel better? Slightly. But at least I had no reason to feel guilty about those cookies anymore.

Guilt

Not sure why it's around, but it is in spades this weekend. I cooked a lot this weekend because we had company and I couldn't offer him much in the way of entertainment so I thought maybe food would help. Calorie-wise, I didn't do too badly, they just weren't necessarily the right calories to be eating (cookies, apple pie). On the other hand I had some really good successes such as eating breakfast at home and only observing at the all you can eat pancake "fest". Then there was the wedding and I didn't have any cake, but there were cheesy potatoes, and really good rolls, and the mints were great too. On top of that it was a busy day so no time for even a walk. Really, I've had worse weekends, especially as far as activity goes. But for whatever reason I am just plagued with guilt today. Part of it might be the fitness magazine that I bought yesterday. Last month it was inspiring. This month I feel like I should be doing everything in it. To top it all off I got on the scale last night and it said that I had gained 5lb back!!!! I don't think that's accurate because I got on this morning and that had gone away plus 2 more. But still...just adds to it all. I've been thinking that maybe I should flip-flop my calorie intake so that I'm taking in the majority in the morning when I have all day to burn them off. As it is, I typically get to supper time and say "oh! look how much more I can eat" and we all know that's not so smart. So that was my goal today, however here I am at 4:30 and hungry and if I eat any more I won't get any supper....
Now on top of that, I'm frustrated with my husband again so I hung up the phone and ate 2 cookies. :P Man alive how I wish I lived somewhere with some other way to vent and fill my time!! God and I had been working on a lot of things lately and I thought I had some peace but gosh darn it, I guess I hadn't grown as much as I had hoped. In Isaiah 58 there is a verse that says ..."The Lord will supply all your needs in a sun-scorched land." I've really latched on to that verse and the surrounding ones because I feel like that's where I am a lot of times. I have a need for companionship, for recreation, for a listening ear, for spiritual challenge and teaching, for trees (all across the spectrum here), among others. And when I search for them where I'm at right now, I feel like I'm in a barren land. Don't take me wrong here, I'm not trying to paint a bad picture of Mike; I'm not expecting him to meet all of these needs or saying it's his fault. I guess what I'm saying that at this point and place in life as I struggle with a lack of friends, a lack of church that really teaches and challenges, a lack of trees :), and a husband that is pulled about 5 different directions, my only firm ground is that God has set it up so that He will meet all my needs and that's the only place I'm going to find peace. I know I'm not the first woman to deal with this, particularly in this culture and place. From what I've seen, my predecessors either ate, shopped, or ran. I'm trying not to eat, don't have the money or the good place to shop (walmart only fills the void so much :P), so I guess I'm going running. I hate running.

The Bookshelf

Here are the pictures I promised. A few different angles. I'm hoping to get a floor lamp to replace that little one on the end table. At least that short part was supposed to be an end table for the chair there, but ended up falling a little short so I need to rearrange that.

I'm so excited I could eat something!

But that would be counter productive. See, I realized that I now weigh the same as when I got married, so I pulled out some clothes from then. Put on some 11/12 pants that I liked, and they fit! Comfortable even. So I'm wearing them now and feeling pretty good. Although I'm still a long way from where I want to be, I'm trying to also enjoy how far I've gotten to this point because it wasn't so long ago that I wasn't sure I'd ever see even this point again. I feel like "Monica" must feel on "Friends" after any episode where she has to wear her fat suit for a flashback. That is to say, I feel like I'm taking off my fat suit and am able to be more myself again. I know that this is all mental, and maybe I could've come out of this funk without loosing weight, but this is certainly making it easier and making the whole world look a little more rosie.
Also contributing to my brighter out look on life is that I actually got up this morning for a quality quiet time in a quality quiet place. Since I got my bookshelves finished in my library and had equipped it with a comfy chair and a lamp it was almost enough incentive to get me out bed early. I said, ok God, you wake me up and I'll get up. So He did and it was lovely to have a whole hour to sit and sip coffee and read and pray. I feel much more prepared for my day and life in general.
If you've never done a yoga shoulder stand, you should try it. Yeah, you look pretty funny and it's not easy, but it's very fun once you get it.

Peanut Butter Dip

My latest substitute recipe is I winner if you ask me. I enjoy apples and peanut butter as a snack,but 2tb. of peanut butter just has too many calories and 1tb. is not enough for a whole apple. So this weekend I improvised with 1tb. peanut butter (all natural, no sugar of course), 1/4c. nonfat, plain yogurt, and one pouch of "truvia" the natural calorie free sweetener that I'm trying. The results were delightful. Might be better than peanut butter alone, and lots more for dipping! And filling. Give it a shot.
My new drink that I outlined before is also treating me well. It's great when I want something special to snack on. Hopefully they don't soon come out with negative aspect of club soda....

It''s a good thing I'm painting them purple...

For the last week I've been working on building built in bookshelves in my upstairs library. Well, I admit, I didn't do it the easiest way, and I had to "unbuild" several times. My husband gave up on helping me with my "poorly engineered" project a couple days ago after getting it mostly built in the garage but then being unable to get it up the stairs. So anyway, I got some time to get it finished and let Mike have the baby for the evening. Long story short, I shot myself with the nail gun. It when in one side and out the other, but I didn't know that so I just whipped back and off the nail. Guess I'm glad I did that so that I didn't have to think about getting the nail out. But then I dripped blood on my shelf. I finished the shelf with a throbbing finger, and was much more wary of the gun after that. Today the finger still hurts, but hopefully I don't need a tetanus shot. Now I've got to paint it but hopefully by tomorrow there will be books on it!

In other news, yesterday was another measuring day. In the last four weeks I lost another 9lbs. and almost 2in. off my hips! Very exciting. Only .5 in. off my waist though so I think I might need to focus there a bit more. Yesterday I also invented a new drink. It's a knock off of the sparkling green tea that I really like, only it's calorie and high fructose corn syrup free! I took green tea, stevia, and a little lemon and lime and mixed it with club soda. Ta da! It could still use a little work, but it wasn't a bad substitute.

Engage Your Core

Mike laughed at me when I told him this, but I have to say, few things feel as good as biking up a hill using your core muscles and legs like you're supposed to. I just recently discovered what a difference it makes to "engage your core" when you bike and I have a whole new level of power. Yesterday I rode around two lakes (about 12 miles) in 45 minutes; half of it is gravel and all of it is pulling the bike cart. That might not sound that fast but my previous fastest time was 1 hour 15 minutes. Today my core is tired so I think I might take a break...

A momentous occasion

It's a day I've been waiting for for a long time: after 17.5 months I have finally removed all of the maternity clothes from my closest. Unfortunately they were not still there because I am lazy and unorganized but because I still had to wear them a year after I had the baby. But no more! While wearing my strechy pants from college I also removed anything that said "XL". :D And gave my husband his t-shirts back. I don't think I have to tell you that it is a good feeling. And last night I put on a pair of dress slacks that I had worn when I worked at USDA, the low waist style and they looked alright and were comfortable. Now, don't go to thinking that I've had amazing results lately. Actually I'm not even sure that I made my 1lb. goal this week (but there are some *other reasons* for possible water weight right now so I'm not going to worry about it) but progress is being made and I'm feeling more comfortable in my skin. And it's marvelous. I also just realized that if I keep up at my current rate, I could have a really fun shopping trip on our annual Christmas trip to Minneapolis this year. :D
Today was fairly successful in the eating area too (so far). I avoided the coffee and the scones after church this morning (warm and soft and blueberry, it was a feat of self-control) and the hot dogs at noon. I did have a bite of each, but I stopped at that. Instead we went for a bike ride and then went swimming. Now Mike wants to go out for burgers and ice cream....hm...Not sure how I'm going to navigate that yet. But we'll figure it out.

A Good Morning

So, two great things happened this morning:
1. I woke up and realized that Parker only got up ONCE last night. And that once I just lay down next to him and he went back to sleep. That is AMAZING. And by far the best night we've had in a really long time. The reason he even woke up that once? The train. At 1 a.m. laying on his horn. %$#%^%$^&%&%%#$@#$@! But, the break through that proceeded this blessed night of restfulness? I literally got down on my knees and prayed. So I am very grateful this morning. And a tad bit more rested.
2. I put on my stretchy yoga pants and they didn't disgust me! Granted they don't look as good as they did in college, but they are comfortable and they''re not gross. So again, very grateful.
Last night I had taco johns for supper. I know, I know, that doesn't have any place in my diet, but it's what Mike wanted to eat. And I'm trying to do better at loving my husband, and if that's what it takes, then I will "sacrifice" a lb. or two to make him happy. That's not to say that I don't like Taco John's too, it's just really calorie loaded and put me over my limit yesterday. Like Mom says, there are lots of different reasons that we eat, and I did not eat at Taco Johns because of a lack of control, but just as a choice.
A new thing I'm trying is called "Truvia;" it's a no calorie natural sweetener. Made from Stevia, it's away to sweeten tea and such without the calories or chemicals that are in normal calorie free things. It made my Chai this morning really yummy. It's a tad bit expensive, but I don't think I'll use it too quickly. And I found a great coupon at www.shopathome.com

An Ideal Husband

Oh yeah, there was something else I wanted to write about. I watched this movie the last few days, with a title that disgusted Mike just by the sight of it: "An Ideal Husband." But you know it really was rather good. It didn't have so much of the silly romanticism but rather a little real husband and wife relationship. Some good truths in it too about how no one is perfect but being married means that you choose to love them anyway. Granted it wasn't all about good relationships or morals, but it was decent and a nice change of pace from typical chick flicks. And lots of English wit which I always love. :)

A little perspective

So I was going crazy this morning, or at least on the verge. I don't know what's gotten into Parker lately but he's been a beast. Having temper tantrums, not eating well, not sleeping well, and clingy. Like he was clinging to my leg as I tried to use the bathroom this morning. Maybe it's the terrible twos coming on early, or maybe it's that I've been "night weaning" him this last week and a half and maybe he's just really not ready for that. But then I got into my e-mail and saw a message about a friend of ours who's little few month old guy is in the hospital because he stopped breathing at the babysitter's and now I guess he's having convulsions. Poor fellow. I can't imagine how hard that it is see and not be able to do anything about. So, praying for them and thankful that at least Parker is healthy if not happy. :P On top of that as I sat down to pray for some help this morning God did give me peace and when I got to work my favorite little babysitters came running out to take the child off my hands. Hallelujah! I will enjoy this while it lasts and then get back to being a mother with thankfulness and God's grace.