Pictures of Heaven? ;)

Ok, here are the long awaited pictures. There are lots more, but this might give you and idea and the baby is clamoring for bed.

Parker and I at Whit's end today.

Doesn't this just make you want a big fancy dress?
Bed part, looking toward the door and mini bar.
I like this mirror, but I love the french doors into the bathroom. French doors make anything look cool.
TV in the bathroom...
The bathroom, looking into the bedroom.
This is the resort from the middle. We are in the far right hand building, the "South Tower," but on the other side from where this picture was taken.

The Broadmoor

It's AMAZING. I am sitting here in my large comfy bathrobe with the resort initial on it, with my feet up in a plush king sized bed. Just got done eating (both pieces :))the chocolate that the night maid left when she came to turn down the bed. She came while Parker and I were down at the indoor pool and spa. It was a beautiful walk back along the lake with all of the Christmas lights on the trees and "Silent Night" playing on the sound system with the snow covered mountains just barely visible in the dark. It's beautiful. The resort opened in 1918, so it's got a neat history and great architecture. Ballrooms, chandeliers, tons of windows, cozy fire places, dining rooms with dress codes. And of course Christmas decoration; it's a great time of year to be here. I feel out of place, and yet very much at home. Doormen and valets everywhere, everyone so polite. I love elegant feeling. It makes me want to be wearing a fancy dress and dancing though...We have our own little balcony too; too bad it's too cold to go out there and read. I wish I had time to sit and enjoy all of the little corners I'm finding. And the french doors. Something about them makes even the closet seem more elegant. I need some french doors I've decided. I've taken a bunch of pictures, however I think I left my camera in the car. So maybe I'll upload them tomorrow. I'm planning to get up and go enjoy the fitness center and pool while Mike can keep Parker. Not that I'm not happy to have Parker with me, but I would like a few more moments to enjoy this without having to wipe a nose or make sure he doesn't run off or break something. But there I go complaining...I really have nothing to complain about. I'm so thankful for the chance to be here and just sit and enjoy it. I've never been anywhere this nice, and probably never will be again.

Speaking of being thankful...

With all of this talk about Thanksgiving, I haven't really mentioned our after Thanksgiving plans; and no it's not shopping, well not the focus anyway. We're driving out to Colorado Springs for a few days where Mike has to go to a conference. It's pretty much just a bonus kind of trip for me; not something I to do but oh so much fun. We have a super nice rental car to drive, with XM radio. And when we get there we get to stay at the Broadmoor; check it out online, it's not just a hotel, it's a resort and it's amazing. And we get to stay for free. And there's a lap pool!!!!!!Heated, outdoor, at the foot of the mountains. :D Then there's all of the many fun things to do in Colorado, not the least of which is Focus on the Family and the full gamut of coffee shops. So, I'm pretty excited. And so grateful for the chance to go. On top of that, I lost 2.4 lb. over Thanksgiving. Haha, that took a miracle. I really think my metabolism finally kicked in. I was thinking as I packed how much more fun this trip is since I am comfortable with my body. For instance the swimming and the wearing of nice clothes in a nice hotel; all things that would've depressed me if I wasn't where I am now. So thankful that I can enjoy dressing up and not feel dumpy and out of place while we're there. Packing is no longer so depressing.
So, I need to go finish and get out the door. I'll hopefully have time to write while we're there.

Parker did not want Andrea to leave. He just kept saying "take. take."

After dinner jam session.

All he wants for Thanksgiving is Doritos.

Checking out the table and turkey cookies.

Setting up the tree with Dad.

Misfit Thanksgiving

It all went off well and I was very , well, thankful. :) The turkey turned out great as well as the ham (which I used "orange chicken" sauce on). We had just about the right amount of food. And it all turned out pretty tasty. Even my 22 year old bachelor brother's green bean casserole; all FOUR pans of it. :) I had a good time too, I hope everyone else did. And I didn't over eat! Wasn't really even tempted to. I filled up on squash and cranberries and just had a taste of everything else that really looked good. Even the chips and dip; only a taste. Had a piece or so of pumpkin dessert, but that was planned on and thoroughly enjoyed.
I also gave a little "sermon-ette" about gratitude and what I've been learning lately and included the gospel in there. Then I had them start little journals writing down 5 things they were thankful for and challenging them to keep it up every day. I don't know how that all went over, but some of them liked it they said, and I was thankful for the courage to go through with it.
All in all, a very satisfying day. I don't know if I've ever enjoyed Thanksgiving that much. And Mike said it was one of his best Thanksgiving meals ever, so that's saying something too! I'll post some pictures in a bit.
Oh yeah...my title..that's referring to the odd assortment of people we had there yesterday: Mom and I were talking about just what family looks like and how, 5 years ago, we never would've imagined that this would be what a family gathering might look like. Some parent-less, some spouse-less; some old and sick, some young and healthy; some related by blood, some related by marriage, and some related by acquaintance. Quite the group. I hope it wasn't too awkward for anyone. I know I would like to do it again; I like welcoming everyone and not having it a "blood family" exclusive holiday.

Thanksgiving Eve

Well, so far so good. I've been busy the last three days getting ready for the 16 people to converge on my house for that ever important holiday meal involving poultry. I've got everything cooked ahead that I can, am pleased with the way that my tables and decorations turned out, and also very happy with the healthier options I have to offer the meal. I do not anticipate to navigate the day and stay within my narrow calorie limit, but I do not plan to crash and burn. I am planning on enjoying my dessert and not wasting any calories on those other sugar filled sides that really don't satisfy. I've left the chips and dip at the store though because I know my lack of self-control when it comes to them. Hoping to fill up on my whipped squash (made with almond milk) and the veggies and hummmus if I need something to just snack on. I've never really planned on becoming a vegetarian, I just tend to prefer non-meat; however, getting this turkey prepped for cooking=NASTY GROSS. Made me consider placing my loyalties on the conservative side of meat eat. :P Just hoping that it turns out tasty. Failure #1 would be running out of food at Thanksgiving, but failure #2 would be messing up the turkey. So here's hoping that I can pull off the hostess, and above that that I can bless the people that come, and I think I'll do that best if I just relax and enjoy them.

"I'm beginning to plan for awkward Christmas',
Everywhere I go!
There's a significant other at my husband's dad's,
And one at my mom's as well;
A couple for siblings thrown in just for show!"
:P
What are they thinking?

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: I had a great conversation with my Grandma yesterday. I don't know why talking to her about faith is so intimidating to me. But I realized last night when reading about Jim Elliot and the lance throwing Auca indians that it shouldn't take so much courage to talk to my grandma who can't throw much worse than a tv remote. Anyway, she's taking treatments for cancer right now so of course eternity has been brought to the forefront of all of our minds. I guess I mentioned on there that Pastor Tom had been to talk to her, but I know that also I need to be obedient and talk to her myself. So yesterday I got the opportunity to go visit her and Grandpa and help them out a little bit, take them some food, and just visit. And Grandma and I really got into stuff about faith, and heaven, and how to get there, and how we're never going to be "good enough" and we can't even keep up trying to think positive thoughts everyday. As I look back on it now I can see where I missed several good "ins" to really be direct about salvation and how to be sure of heaven, but I am also grateful for the words God did give me and hope that the scripture is resonating with her. She knows all this stuff, she just needs to remember it and claim it. And hopefully this was just breaking the ice for both of us and that there will be a next time and easier now. So very grateful for that opportunity, and even just for the fact that I was obedient.
The Bad: The reason that we were over in G&G's area is that I was trying out a new pediatrician for Parker. She was nice enough, but unfortunately not right for us. I was so hopeful too. I'm not a big doctor person but I would love to have one that I could trust for when we need it. Usually in these situations I just clam up and think "get me out of here," but this time I stuck with it and asked her my questions and actually disagreed with her some, so I was grateful for that courage. However, right away she found out that Parker was "behind" on his vaccines and I kinda lost her because all of the bells and whistles were going off in her brain. I asked her about breastfeeding and chiropractic care and other things of importance to me but she said "the important thing right now is that we get him up to where he should be on his vaccines." Now, no matter how you feel about vaccines, I hope you would agree with my immediate thought as it was "no lady, that's not the most important thing. The most important thing to me is that you know my child and are able to give him the best possible care and help. NOT that he checks out on the CDC website." So that kinda checked her out in my book. That and that she more or less said breastfeeding or formula are equal in value and that there is no reason to breastfeed after 2 years. Um....I mean come on. Ok so vaccines are controversial and nothing is really for sure there good or bad, but breastfeeding?? Tons of Ph.'d Doctors recognize breastfeeding as far far superior and has so many benefits beyond just feeding. I realized that I don't necessarily need a doctor that shares all of my same view points, but I would like one that thinks for himself and keeps up on the research beyond what the CDC website says. I know there are some out there, they just live in California darn it.
The Ugly: My eating habits lately. I'm still exercising regularly, even more than my 3 times a week. But I snack little bits here and there and I'm sure I'm going over my calories but I'm not tracking them anymore so I can pretend I'm not. :P Not doing anyone any good. I haven't reached my goal, but the results have slowed down and I'm happy with where I am, so I'm less motivated. But I really don't think I should give up here because 1. I'm too easily going back to my old habits so apparently they need more rooting out and 2. I don't want to just give up on my goal; if I stop it will be because I feel I have reached the healthy weight for me and I don't know that I have yet. So....what do I do? Hm..and the holidays are fast approaching too...

This was when I found Parker "boating" in the bath the other night.






Parker was having a good time with the kittens at church yesterday.

"Doing" Thanksgiving

I've never really been much of a Thanksgiving person. Unconsciously I think I'm with most other Americans in just considering it a pre-Christmas kick-off. It's a holiday so family gets together and since there's no presents or anything required at this one there is all the more focus on eating lots of food. And there, now we've "done" Thanksgiving, check it off and let's move on to Christmas!
But this year, I'm not settling for that. Instead I volunteered to "have" Thanksgiving and really celebrate and focus on this holiday originally set aside to contemplate how much God has blessed us, no matter what our circumstances. My reasons for this are threefold: 1. I have my own family now and I want to create traditions for them to look forward to and make Thanksgiving a real celebration for them, not just something we "do." 2. With having parents on both sides die right around this time of year, this holiday has taken a particularly rough hit for us and I can't really blame people for not having the enthusiasm to make something of it, but I want to change that. Rather than try to make things how they've always been and highlight what's been lost, I'm just going to change it all up and make it new and improved. 3. God's really been working on creating a grateful heart in me lately, but I still have a long way to go. I want to prepare for this holiday not only with food and decorations, but also a renewed sense of gratefulness and find ways to share it with the others. That's kinda where I'm stuck right now; everyone's invited and the food is being planned but how do I bring out the spirit? I dislike the "go around the table and share what you're thankful for" routine. I want it to be authentic and enjoyable; not cheesy. But how to do that? What can I do to promote that atmosphere and make the day about more than food and football? The only idea I've come up with so far is to kind of re-write a Psalm, have everyone write a few lines and then read them all together. Although I have one vote for and one against, it still borders on cheese. Hmmmm...Only 20 days to figure it out. That and where to seat everyone.

Indulging the Soul

That's another new thought that I came across yesterday in a book by Fenelon from 1687: "...Romans taught their children, not only to despise their body and make a generous and noble sacrifice of it, but also to indulge and gratify their soul with the delight that is found in virtue and honor." Intriguing isn't it? The thought of turning our efforts to indulge the soul rather than the body? How much of our time and energy is not spent in either indulging the body or conniving some way to rationalize doing so? I think of my issues with food: I want to indulge my taste buds and mind by eating something that I perceive to be tasty whether or not my body actually needs it for fuel. Aren't most of our sins actually some form of indulging the body and gratifying it's desires? "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Is it not your desires that rage within you?" (James something...) A lot of those "gray areas" like alcohol: something not bad in and of itself but it becomes sinful when we overindulge. The Bible has all sorts of verses about our flesh and how it's desires war against our spirit's desire to be Holy (when Christ is present). "Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality, so as to indulge in every kind of impurity with a continual lust for more." (Ephesians)
I think back over my "training" as a child and the first thing that comes to mind (concerning food again) was that when we wanted to celebrate, we ate lots and lots of food, therefore happy=overindulgence. I'm not trying to say that this is universal, just what was modeled for me. Was I taught anything about indulging and gratifying the soul? Certainly not in so many words. What is "indulging" for my soul? Time with God certainly leaves my soul feeling satisfied. Or a good conversation with a friend. Or maybe taking in some quality music. I think, for me at least, something in us sends us the message that the chance to overindulge is a reward. I search for ways to justify over indulging in everything from food to relaxing to (before I was married) physical affection. Is it sinful nature or culture? That would determine how to undermine it I would think. Perhaps it's both: a sin issue that I need to attack in myself so that I can better address it and train for it in my son. And how do I train myself to focus on indulging the soul instead? These are my deep thoughts for the day. I think I know the answers, but just haven't pondered it long enough. Anyone want to weigh in?

A whole new wardrobe :)

I haven't written much about my eating and exercising lately, but the most exciting news is that I fit in to my "skinny" jeans this week! I tried them on on a whim after realizing that it'd been a month since I had, and they fit quite handily. These are the jeans I picked up in NM when I was at probably the best fitness of my life; my "pre-marriage" jeans. It's fun to be wearing them again. I've been having trouble with cookies though. And chocolate chips. Once I start them, I just can't stop. I'm frustrated by my lack of self-control, my "weakness." But then I was reminded of the verse in 2nd Corinthians, " three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it from me but he said 'My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.'" Paul calls whatever he is struggling with his "thorn in the flesh" "a messenger of Satan sent to torment me." That's how I feel too. So, how do I use this "thorn" to tap into God's power, so that I get to a place where I can boast in my weaknesses? I'm not sure yet. But it does make me smile to think of my addiction to chocolate chips as a "messenger of Satan sent to torment me." :)
Here's another angle though. A statement I came across yesterday about the need to take care to not make your body an idol. So I stopped to analyze if I have done that: I spend a lot of time thinking about exercise and what I eat. A lot of time planning or regretting. I give things up in order to have my body look the way I want to. And now that I am more pleased with the results I've been having, I spend more time in the mirror admiring how I look or taking pride in what "I've" accomplished. Oh my, that all sounds really bad. But, on the flip side, we also are to be good stewards of the bodies God has given us and a large part of my fitness endeavors have been because I was not living in a healthy way. I guess there must be a fine line and I'm also guessing that they only way I'm going to be able to walk it successfully is by grace. More grace! Always, more grace...maybe that's how I glory in my weaknesses: because of them I will never fulfill my need for God's bounties of grace.

There's been a lot going on lately. Lots of blogging type thoughts have come to mind and gone again before I had a chance to get them down. My grandma's in the hospital right now, actually have surgery today to remove cancer in her colon. It's not really shocking or anything because Grandma hasn't been in good health for a long time; in and out of the hospital in the last few years, this time they're just calling it cancer. At mom's request I asked Pastor Tom to go visit her and help her find some peace and comfort amidst all of the scary things going on right now, even facing the possibility of death, which honestly might be better than what she's have to live through. Anyway, he went, last night, almost right away. I'm so grateful for the love he has for people and the wisdom he has giving me complete confidence that he will say only what God tells him to, even if it's awkward. In a sense I feel kinda guilty, sending Pastor Tom to do my "dirty work," that is having this most important but not comfortable conversation with Grandma. But on the other hand, if anyone's going to help her, it will be him. She does say she is a believer, however she never learned how to live it and now is without the practice of going to God when things are hard. She's also got a lot of unforgiveness and bitterness stored up. Something the Pastor Tom personally understands. So I've been alternating between fear that Grandma's going to hate me for putting her in the position of talking to this very forward stranger, and hope that maybe God will do a huge work here and Grandma will find joy. What a thought; Grandma Morgan with joy and peace! I smile just thinking of it and praying it will be so. Even so far as if she made peace with God last night then I would be at peace if he took her now, just because it would be so much better than what she's been living with. And it wasn't so long ago that I watched cancer work it's course and it's not pleasant. So much pain and discomfort.
So, that's what I'm thinking about these beautiful fall days. Not necessarily bad thoughts although you might think that at first.
We went to Ames to see Grandma this weekend and got to go to Cornerstone for Saturday night service. I left there with an immense feeling of satisfaction; like when you're hungry after a long run and find a good meal ready for you. (Parker just drove his toy truck down the front of my shirt until it hooked in my bra and said "park." )Anyway...the heartfelt worship and the "solid food" of the teaching from Ephesians. So good. Wow, how I miss going there. And I know, everyone misses Cornerstone because there's no other churches just like it, but also this is the church were I really felt at home. I've gone to a lot of different churches in my life, but this one was mine. The one where I really grew a lot in my faith, faced some difficult life happenings, faced some huge joys, really saw examples of what it is to be a Christ follower. This is my "home" church out of all of them I've ever attended and it's hard to move my heart from that. These are people I trust, even though I hardly know them anymore, but I know that they're real, so I trust them. Even in the huge new auditorium; really a building that I hardly recognize, I felt at home. And it's nice to still be recognized in a huge place like that. But we don't "go" there anymore, I'm not a regular part of the fellowship, and I need to get engaged in the church here. Is it so hard because I just don't want to or is it so hard because this one isn't really a home? Probably more my attitude than I want to admit...but it's hard to trust that deeply again. When we left Cornerstone I was almost glad to go, but I realize now that my heart had drifted from God and the problems were mine, not theirs. I was offended only as their walk revealed my lack there of. Not that Cornerstone is a perfect church, or that I should hold out until I find one just like it. I guess I just got to work on my attitude. But I'm still homesick.