You never know what he's going to say...

Parker enjoys playing with the old coffee pots in the church kitchen. I heard him say today "What's in it?" and turn around to see him standing in it, and then he added "need my hat." :)

Sleep Training

To all those "experts" that say you have to let a baby "cry it out" or they'll never learn to put themselves to sleep, I offer Parker as exhibit A that they're wrong. To all those same or other experts that say never, never, never let your children sleep in your bed because they'll still be there when they're 5, I offer Parker as exhibit B that they're also wrong.
Anybody that I talk to much knows how Parker's lack of sleep has been a frustration for us since day one. We tried everything we could come up with, but he just didn't want to go to sleep or stay asleep very often. I even resorted to the "crying it out" option, because of guilt that I was spoiling him, even though it went against everything my heart said and made me cry too. I don't care about those "experts" that say that "they actually enjoy working themselves up to throwing up." I still regret that I let that happen as many as two times, before I finally gave up. Yes, until he was around 1 1/2 he was still being nursed to sleep and he was still sleeping part time in our bed and part on a mattress next to our bed. But you know what? When we were all ready to move on, it happened so easily. I was terrified of weaning particularly because Parker attached it to bed time. But we worked up to it, and there were never any tears on that account. Granted, we didn't do it till he was two, but that was kinda what I'd planned all along, and it was good for us. This week we have made the move to put Parker in his own room. This was delayed some because "his room" is all the way upstairs from us, and I just didn't relish the midnight trips up and downstairs, or the thought of him falling down the stairs in a sleepy stumble. But Monday we did move him; made it a big deal of sleeping in his own room and with his "Lightening McQueen" blanket. The first night he didn't come down once (once he went to sleep). A whole night of sleep for me; whoo hoo! That was way better than I expected though, so the next night with 4 or 5 trips upstairs for me was a little more up to speed. Last night though, he again stayed up there the entire night. I don't think this is the end of it, he is only two after all. There's still the getting to sleep struggle some nights, but that is age as much as anything. But I'm thrilled with the progress and the fact that he likes sleeping in his own room. He's not scared of being so far from us and in general he likes to sleep. He will tell me that he's tired or that he wants to take a nap. He's come to Mike a few times while I've been gone and told him it was bedtime. That to me says we did ok. That's not to say that the way we did these tricky aspects of "sleep training" are for everyone; every child is different and so is their family. But it is to say that the "experts" are not always right and don't create unnecessary regrets by doing things the way they say you have to if it's not right for your child. More often than not, things work out in time and they work out with so much less pain. Maybe more prayer, but less pain. :)

You are My Sunshine

On Fridays Parker always gets to play the drums and piano as I put the bulletins around the sanctuary. Usually he just pounds away with a bit grin on his face. Today however, he planned long before we got in there "Mom, I'm going to play "You my sunshine" on pan-o." Ok...and he does, the second verse of the Veggie Tales version however. He sits down at the piano and then carefully plays the keys and sings "God luv shunshine (God's love is sunshine.)." Then a little more uptempo playing and equally enthused singing of the same words. After that he decided to move on to the drums and actually had two sticks on two different drums, and was hitting the bass drum with the pedal as he sang "God luv shunshine, God luv shunshine. Today! Today! Evybody want to be a cat!" :) Quite the little concert.

And that's been the most interesting thing that's happened to me lately. I'm bored and restless about that. I really want to go somewhere, ideally Ames. But we're trying not to blow our gas budget so badly this month and so going to Ames with no good reason does not fit well with that plan. It's not that I'm bored because I've nothing to do; I'm bored because the things I have to do do not excite me. I guess I just want to be entertained or something. And I'm really wishing I lived somewhere that I could ride my bike to things to do and not have to drive everywhere. *Sigh* Don't know what I'm going to do this weekend now, but I really don't want to waste it in boredom and a bad mood. Accomplishing things would be nice, but I don't have any of the parts that I need to accomplish the projects that need doing and I've recently been informed that it will be too expensive to try to make a windowseat for my kitchen. *Sigh* In a funk.

Ok, I'll stop complaining now. Really, I should be spending more time pondering the lessons I've been gleaning from "Madame Blueberry" this week. We just got the soundtrack from that movie and so I've heard the songs several times and am impressed at just how much is in there. If you don't know the story; Madame Blueberry is always sad and depressed because she doesn't have enough stuff, or maybe just not the right stuff. She sings about how her things are not as nice as her neighbors things and she actually has pictures of her neighbors things around her house and she spends her time thinking about them and this makes her cry. Wow. Might seem extreme, but really, wasn't that just what I was doing? Working myself into a bad mood as I pondered the pictures in my head of the things I would like to have or be doing right now? Just because the pictures aren't framed and on my mantle doesn't make them any less dangerous. Madame goes on to learn that she will never have enough "things" to make her happy but instead she must learn to be content and the secret to being content is a "happy heart." She learns a simple little song to that end and it's just the sort that gets stuck in your head: "A thankful heart is a happy heart. I give thanks for what I have, that's an easy way to start. For a God that really cares, and he listens to our prayers. That's why we say thanks everyday." Simple but profound. And never fails to pull me up short when it rings in my head and reveals my discontented heart. In the words of Madame Blueberry "That's what I want; a happy heart! What aisle are the happy hearts in?"

The Circus

Yesterday, Parker and I had a fun afternoon of going to the circus and supper. Mike was in the field and no body else was able to go, so it was just him and I off for a little adventure. The anticipation was fun in and of itself; Parker was talking about seeing the elephants and tigers and saying hi to them. I'm not a huge circus fan, and it proved to be cheesy as circuses tend to be, but I think Parker enjoyed it. It was a long show, two hours almost, but he did a great job sitting still and watched it. We even got a close up of the elephants and ponies. After it was done we went to McDonald's for supper, poor kid had never been to sit down in McDonald's. He was very excited because there was a slide in the building and a clown on the high chair. I told him the clown's name was Ronald McDonald and he exclaimed "Old McDonald had a clown!" (he's very into clowns after a circus). We ate ketchup and french fries and played a bit and then made a trip to Wal-mart. It was a fun evening. Don't know if Parker will ever remember it, but I will. I'm glad my two year old is, at least generally, good company. :)

Various Things

-I rode my bike around both lakes for the first time this season last night. It was a bad choice of nice. Ubber windy. I few times I thought it was going to blow my wheels right out from under me. And with the cart on the back I had a lot of drag going on. So I headed into the wind at the start and the whole time I was thinking that it would be worth it because it would be so much easier on the second half. The only problem is that there was a storm front going through and by the time I got to the second half the wind has switched! So I was going into the wind the entire time. So hard at times that I had to get off and push because I could not pedal against it. Now that it's over, I'm grateful for the hard work. But gesh!
-Trying to decide about doing the Women's Bible study at camp this summer. It's another Beth Moore study, and I do enjoy those. And I know it will probably be good and challenging and help me keep my mind in the right place. But I'm always hesitant to commit my time to anything. And I don't have a good plan for what to do with Parker yet. So I told God that I would do it if He gave me a good solution for Parker. But the description came out for it today and it really didn't get me excited at all. So, hm...
-On the other hand I'm really enjoying my personal Bible Study. Reading through the Bible chronologically, but also studying the book "Having a Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver. She's got some good stuff. The point being that we have to stop trying to change ourselves and get ourselves out of the way so that Christ can do it. Also still memorizing the book for Proverbs. Started chapter 6 this month. They're really running together, but I love having so much in my head. So far to go though!
-My "mentee" with the KITA program and I have not been hooking up too well. She's busy with track, so we've not seen each other this month. I've contacted her a few times, but she doesn't seem to eager. That's rather discouraging, but I was introduced to another girl that was interested in having a mentor relationship. In the two times we've hung out I've been really impressed with her enthusiasm and eagerness to talk. Her family situation is interesting, so I'm just trying to listen for what God wants me to be saying and doing here. Hopefully it will go somewhere...
-Yesterday I went to visit my Grandpa again, and while there I asked him to tell me more about what he believes as a Christian Scientist. He seemed rather happy to have my interest. So he gave me some stuff to read and told me a bit about his background in it. I really don't know where this is going to go either. I was praying for Grandpa not so long ago and this is what God told me to do, to just ask him. I mean I'd love to turn him from the error of his ways and this religion that, from what I know so far, rather disturbs me. But this is the only step I know of so far, so we'll see I guess.
-Parker picks up on stuff so fast; little phrases from movies, lines from songs, things that I say. It's convicted me that I really need to work harder to fill this little mind with good things. I know part of it is "mommy guilt" that I could always do more. But also really I think I should give him some more focused teaching rather than letting him learn whatever. We've worked on Bible verses on and off, but I think it's time to do them a bit more.
-Ticks. I hate them. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about them. And I found 4 in 3 days!! Two on me!! Nasty!
There's probably more, but I'd better get back to working.

Throughly Chastised

After my emphatic post concerning the church retreat, I also had a conversation on the same topic and ended up being thoroughly chastised for being "offensive and belittling." I know my heart, and I know that it tends to be filled with pride and I also know the Bible verse that says "the heart is deceitful above all things, who can trust it?" So I decided to go the route of humility and assume that my accuser was completely correct in what was said. Not a pleasant feeling nor following days of self-reflection. I have before been convicted of an ugly attitude of "I could do it better" when it comes to this place that I live and this church. God says I'm supposed to love His church but it's coming really hard for me this time. Maybe I have come across as "offensive and belittling" to everyone and that is why I haven't made any friends in two years? Depressing thought. And yet I know my attitude is still far from right. So the conclusion so far is this: to pray for God to change my heart in this area, even though I have no desire in that direction, but I know it's right. And in the meantime, ascribe to the age old motherly advice "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." Mouth Shut.