T.O.'d

This shouldn't make me so annoyed, but none the less I am and need to vent: So "our" church is planning their first ever All Church Retreat for later this summer. Since Mike and I have been on a lot of retreats and are generally for them, they asked if we would help plan it. Sure, I figured, it would give me some say into making it good. Mike wrote out a good starter schedule with ideas and presented it at a meeting Wednesday night. They liked it, except for two points that irk me. 1. They didn't like the idea of a "date night" for couples to have some time together. Now that certainly isn't a required part of the schedule, and since we do have single people in our church, I'm totally fine with not having one so as not to highlight that difference. However, I feel like the reason that "they" didn't want to have it was because there's this unspoken segregation that exists and any chance for male and female to work or study or interact together (even married) is discouraged. Everything here is "women's ministry" or "men's fellowship." We tried a Bible Study for couples once, no one came. Frustrating. 2. The second and bigger issue for me is that they decided to not bring in an outside speaker. For me a retreat is a block of time set aside for concentrated study of God, the Bible, and its directives for my life with a group of people also wanting to know God better and do life his way. "Fellowship" is nice, games are nice, "testimonys" are nice, but I want a focus, a chance to learn, to go into a depth that we can't do in 20 minutes on a Sunday morning. Like I said to Mike "what do these people have against depth??!!" They want to have people from within the church speak and share testimonys. I'm not denying that God could use that, and that there are some great people with good messages in this church, but I just feel like we're missing out on a chance to focus. And I feel like they're afraid or something of a real challenge that an "outsider" might bring. I guess mostly I'm just disappointed; I am so hungry for the "solid food" that Paul speaks of and I was hoping that this would be a chance that I could, along with this "church family" I'm supposed to be a part of, really get some meat. I connect best with others when we learn and grow together. What's the point of this retreat if it doesn't have , well, a point? I'm not sure I want to go anymore.

Weekend Plans

Going to a Bebo Norman concert tonight and excited for it. I'm not a big concert person, but I do really enjoy Bebo Norman's music and it's about as close as good concerts get around here, so I'm excited about that. Also it's fun to have something different to do than go to work or go to Fort Dodge for groceries. Not sure yet if I'm going with just Parker or not, but hopefully that will be ok. This weekend is the same story; going to a wedding and hoping that it will rain so that Mike will come. :D Except even rain is no guarantee because then he might need to be at camp. So we'll see. Mostly my plans are really up in the air. But I'm learning to do better with that. I'm also still waiting for black toner for my copier so that I can print the fifty-million things I need to be printing right now...and trying not to think of the yummy chex mix in the kitchen.

I know, it's been awhile again.

Oh well, maybe I don't need to blog as much because I finally have a real person to talk to in person, frequently. :D

I did have a few thoughts for today though. The first one being about learning the discipline of listening. I've been reading "Sacred Parenting" by Gary Thomas (have not read anything by this guy that isn't amazing). Rather than trying to tell you the "right" way to parent, he writes about all the ways he feels God has made him more Christlike through the divine tool of parenting. One of those things he has learned is how to really listen. Listen to his kids yes, but mostly to listen for God throughout his day, giving him insight and answers to questions he doesn't even know need asking. Kinda the little nudges that we can brush off as an idea not worth acting on, but that we should really pay attention to. So I've begun praying that God would help me listen and one of first things he told me was during a time when I way praying for Mike and this planting season. Can't say I'm a big fan of planting or harvest. A large part of that is how Mike is continually discouraged by working with his dad so much and that greatly affects his attitudes and actions when ever he might get to spend time with us. I've heard many times how a guy needs his wife to maintain their home as a sort of oasis for him; someplace he can count on being restful and peaceful when he comes home from the pressure of the working world. One of the first ways to do that is to not bombard him with all of your issues the minute he walks in the door. So anyway, thinking and praying about all this, and I feel like God really pointed out to me that the kind of oasis Mike needs, particularly this time of year, is one that is affirming and accepting and honoring. Not that he doesn't need that all of the time, but just that right now, that would make a really huge difference for us, if I would focus on that. Mike hasn't said such a thing,and I really wouldn't be surprised if he's really never even formed a complete thought on such a topic, but I'm pretty sure he also wouldn't turn the offer down. :) As I type this out, it feels very simplistic and silly; any reader is going, duh, you think that's something special God told you? But, I don't know...I guess what I liked was that I felt that I heard God be specific. I often get overwhelmed by how many thing I could improve on as a wife, and it was nice to have Him sort of go "here, focus on this. This is what he needs most right now." Yesterday, I was praying for mom quite a bit, and it occurred to me to send her flowers. My next thought, was "nah, silly, unnecessary." But I did it anyway, along with a verse that had jumped out at me. Later, Mom called to say that that was just perfect, verse and all. So, good...yeah...God promises that if we call out, cry aloud, and search for insight and understanding that He will give it. So, I'm counting on that.

I don't remember what else I was going to say...drat. Oh well, back to website stuff. Oh for taking on tasks that I know nothing about.

Two Funerals and Two Weddings

I know I haven't actually written in awhile. It's not that nothing's going on. Just nothing I can really write about here and sent out into that "cosmic nothing." Maybe someday.
In the meantime I am pondering the issue of two funerals and two weddings. Back in February we had a funeral for my Grandma, however there was so much snow that they couldn't bury her. So, they're scheduling another funeral for either April 24 or May 1. The problem with that is that I currently have weddings to go to on both of those dates. And on the 24th particularly, I don't want to miss it as it's a good friend from high school that I'd really like to reconnect with. As Mike said "it's hopefully her only wedding..." and then he paused as we both realized that is her only wedding but it would be Grandma's second funeral. Not to be insensitive, but...hahahahahah. That's a really funny problem. How often do you have that issue? So, still not sure what I'm going to do, but for the moment amused with the problem.

In my Bible Study this morning I was struck with the verses in Galatians 6 about "God cannot be mocked: a man reaps what he sows. He who sows to please the sinful nature will reap destruction, but he who sows to please the Spirit will reap eternal life..." My book asked, as I struggle against my sinful nature and sins that just keep tripping me up, who do I really want to win? I might say that I want to do what's right, but am I actually sowing to please the sinful nature? Of course my mind went first to living in a godly marriage and how, especially recently, we've seemed to be on a downward slope of division, irritability, and unkindness. Now I pray about it, and think about it, and worry about it, but what kinds of seeds am I sowing throughout my day. If I spend my day allowing negative thoughts, or reading books with unrealistically "romantic" marriages, or even using up all my energy so that I don't have any left at night, how can I expect to "reap" a pleasant evening of fellowship? I really appreciated that insight. Actually, my inner Quaker came out and I was wishing for some "open worship" time to share what I'd learned. :)

Belated Birthday

When uploading the Milo photos I found these from Parker's party at camp so I thought I'd share. This first one shows Parker pretty close to heaven; what more could a boy want?

The addition of Milo

All of a sudden we have a really big dog and a really little dog. They look really funny together. Keep in mind that Mike and I never really planned on having more than one dog. And neither one of us really like small dogs either. However here we are the proud new owners of Milo, a Jack Russell Terrier. I've had a weakness for that breed ever since "Wishbone" and Mike knew the dog and knew he was very well behaved and sans the annoying hyper-ness that is prevalent in little dogs. A lady that he works with needed to get rid of Milo, and we thought that maybe he'd be good company for Edelweiss and knew that Parker would enjoy having a dog more his size. And boy does he ever. Parker calls Milo "baby puppy" and gets worried when he gets out of sight. It's even more exciting to Parker that Milo gets to ride in the car and come in the house. He's a pretty excited little guy and everything that Milo does is hilarious. Milo for his part does well putting up with Parker but is still getting used to the loud and spastic actions.I don't think I'll mind have a dog in the house as he really does listen really well and cleans up all of Parker's messes. And he sleeps in the basement with Moses. Poor Moses; as if life in the basement could get any worse. :) Here's a few pictures.