I've been reading the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart," this week. Great book. I really like the author's approach to relationship with your kids, including discipline, authority, and communication. He stresses that he's looking for a biblical method to parenting and I feel that he's hit upon that, and it's much more balanced than say "Baby Wise." :P However, it leaves me feeling woefully inadequate and overwhelmed. So much so that I'm thinking, wait! I'm not cut out for this job, never mind I just won't be a parent. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it's too late for backing out. How am I ever going to remember everything? And do it right? Say the right things at the right time? And always be looking for opportunities to turn them back to the gospel? I mean, if I screw this up, it's people's lives on the line. I really can't take that much credit...ultimately it's up to them and God, but I am feeling a lot of pressure right now. And really praying that Mike will also read this book and we will be able to team up on this. He's not really much of a reader, but I'm hoping that God will get him into this one, because even more overwhelming that trying to parent the way I feel the Bible calls us to, is trying to do it alone. Or even just trying to pass on all that I'm learning while I'm also trying to learn it myself and put it in to practice. I did find a quote on a friend's blog, from another friend's blog, to be encouraging:
"God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through." –Francis Chan
That's me in this position; in trouble if God doesn't come through. But He does promise to come through. The same proverb keeps coming back to me "If we call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding...then you will find the fear of the Lord and you will understand the knowledge of God."
This book hasn't been only frightening though, I've also found a bit of freedom from the unbiblical parenting goals that I am tempted towards. My most dangerous being the desire for well behaved children. Not that the author says this desire is wrong, it's just not big enough, and it leaves us susceptible to parenting and disciplining to please whomever is watching. That's a problem that I have. Particularly with my nephews who often appear to me to be the perfect children. So when I'm with them I find my self getting so frustrated with Parker because he doesn't toe the line like they do. Their parents don't put this pressure on me, I put it on myself, but it's just so hard to remember that Parker's different from those boys and I really don't want to teach him to behave to earn the approval of others but rather for the glory of God. The heart issue, that's what they say it really comes down to; what is going on in their heart, not the behavior. And we need to teach them to determine and deal with those issues and then we're really teaching them how to live.
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