One of those days...

And it's only noon. Actually, things have improved lately. But this morning I got up around 6:30 because I had to be to camp to open the coffee shop by eight (I forgot to mention that I manage the new coffee shop thing at Twin Lakes Christian Center). There was a bridge group coming in and I had agreed to host them before I had to be at church to work by 9. So, Mike was going to take care of Parker and bring him down when they got up. I had been nervous about how it would go, mostly because there wasn't much time margin for error and because this whole shop is a new endeavor and we've still got a lot of bugs to work out. So I get down there and realize, I had forgotten my key. No problem, I just open the pass through door at the counter and climb in. Except, I need things from the kitchen and there is no way in there without a key. Worse yet, I realize that I also forgot the milk and cream that I bought yesterday. No way to make a mocha without the milk. And I'm expecting customers in 10 minutes. So I call the boss (who lives across the street) thinking he should be up by 7:50. Nope. Wake him up. But he has a key and a half a gallon of milk, so it will have to do because there is nothing in the camp fridge. He's a bit groggy, but he comes over and helps me get going. I also forgot my bean grinder but I do find a way around that. I think this is all proof that I should not leave the house without my morning coffee...Anyway, I get everything all set, the coffee brewed, 8:30 and still no customers. The boss casually mentions that he thinks they start at 9. Oh really? So that makes all my issues mute; I could've slept, let the boss sleep, and had Mike bring the milk. Not to mention not brewed the coffee an hour early. And now my other issue is that I'm supposed to be at my other job at 9. So I haveto call there to say I will be late. I just leave a message at the church though because the Pastor is a notoriously late sleeper and I don't want to risk waking anyone else up.Also, Mike has to be at work at 9 so he can no longer watch the baby. Oh well, at least I am ready for them. But wait, I'm not! The lady leading this group coming in has other ideas about the way things should be set up. So she re-arranges my re-arranging, brings her own baked goods, and tells me to erase the prices off the sign I stayed up late last night to make. And then she comes over and gives me a hug saying "are you enjoying this little coffee shop project?!" Um......yeah. So that was my morning, all before 9 a.m. But I survived and hopefully learned a little bit about being flexible. That's what Mike says camp is good for. Flexiblity is not my strong point, so this is going to be an interesting summer. The "coffee shop" is a room in an exhisting building that they just redid to make it more of a coffee shop atmosphere and then got a few machines to put in the kitchenette. I really like the idea but am frustrated by how limited I am. The space is used for other things too, so I don't have a permenant set up; not even to leave my ingredients in the fridge without danger of them being used. Then there's just the lack of a customer base and a budget to really do things right. If I'm going to have my name on this shop I want it to be the real thing and not just a poor attempt like the other three total "coffee shops" in a 40 mile radius. Oh wait, only two, another one just closed. (to it's credit there are one, maybe two, decent ones in Storm Lake) At the very least, if I can't make it up to my standards, then let's not advertise it to be the real thing until we can. They want me to make fancy drinks with fancy names, but dude, I don't even have an espresso machine. I'm not blaming anyone really; camp does not have the money to pour into this, and it isn't likely to pay back very quickly so it's not worth the risk. I guess maybe I'm just regretting taking on this albatross. It's going to complicate my summer greatly; and I'm going to have to do most of it with a baby on one hip. I did it because, well if there's going to be a coffee shop I want it done right and because I've been wanting to get more involved at camp and this seemed right up my alley. Well maybe my alley is a dead end! At least I get to have real cream in a little cream pitcher....

I'm sorry, I'll stop complaining now. That was just my vent. It will probably all be ok, I just have higher expectations than are warranted. I do that to myself a lot and God is working on me about that. Unfortunately there's not really a pleasant way to learn that lesson.

Speaking of lessons though, I heard a good one on the radio yesterday. The teacher was talking about the heart of a true servant, using Jesus of course as the example. He used scripture to show how we are all called to have a servant's heart and live as servants to God in this world. He then talked about being content where you are in life and said if you are not content you either are in the wrong place or have the wrong attitude. Now, in my case, I'm pretty sure I have the wrong attitude so I was listening when he went on to say that a true servant does not leave the position his master has placed him in. That's not an option. He serves in his place, no matter what the situation or how difficult it might get. So if you know you are in the place God called you to be, then you should not be complaining against it but rather serving there and maybe looking for the reasons for this particular place. That really made sense to me as I do have bitterness about the "place" I am right now; that being what seems to me middle-of-no-where Iowa with a husband that I barely get to see. Even this past year I have had questions about this particular child God chose to give us and this particular husband that I seem to have nothing in common with. Not wanting out of those two things but just wondering, "are you sure God? What were you thinking?" But those aren't such bad questions on the road to contentment; I think God is willing to answer anything that is going to help me understand His heart better. But I still need to choose my attitude. I am confident that it was God's idea that I marry Mike and since going home to farm was always his dream and things just fell into place to do so lately, I trust his judgement that this is the place we are to be right now. So that means for me it's time to buckle down and get to work. Making a good marriage when it seems all the outside forces are working against us. And making a good home when sometimes I can't stand the reality of where I live and miss Ames horribly. The exciting part is looking back and to see what God was doing in me and through me by bringing me here. And it won't be forever. Those are the worst days; when I feel like my adventures are over and I'll be stuck on this wind ripped prairie forever. At the very "least" there's always eternity. Life is not horrible here, there are lots of good things about it and I need to focus on them. I am extremely blessed, maybe just again dealing with my expectations...so don't take this all as a complaint but rather just some introspection ending in gratefulness to God that his perspective it so much bigger than mine. Some day I will say "I wouldn't have had it any other way!"